Settling in. Almost 6 weeks post op

Has it already been 6 weeks? Just last week I was still struggling to eat meals but now I can't stop eating! I've been able to open my mouth much wider, therego eating is sooo much easier. I think it's safe to say that I no longer need ensure. Thank goodness! I finally moved back in to my place. I was a little nervous about it at first because I haven't really liked being alone the past few weeks, but so far I'm doing okay.

I had a great weekend! I hit up Barton Springs on Saturday. And for those of you not from my parts imagine the coldest water you can. Barton Spring is super cold, like a pool of ice water! So refreshing to jump into on a really hot day and Texas has been seeing one hot day after another! On Sunday I went to the Hot Sauce Festival and of course I get there and realize that I still can't eat chips, and that is how everyone is trying the salsa. I had to spoon feed myself every salsa! Thank goodness I had a beer to help chase it down. My mouth was on fire. Then I started freaking out about getting some of the salsa stuck in my splint, wouldn't that be horrible! But thank goodness that didn't happen.

I still don't have my pup penny lane back but as soon as I get my splint out I told my parents she can move back in. I need to transition and acclimate myself to living on my own before I bring my dog back into the mix.

Tonight I cleaned. It felt good. The place had collected a lottt of dust since I've been gone. Also, I seem to have these tiny little ants all over my apt. Any recommendations for getting rid of them?

Okay, now jaw surgery stuff. I'm such a rambler. :) I get my splint off in a week and a half! wohoo. That means I will have had it in for 7 weeks. I wonder why some people have to wear theirs longer than others? This seems like such a silly question that I really should know the answer to, having just gone though this and all, but what is the splint doing exactly? I know it's kind of like the equivalent of a cast....but how do you know when you don't need it anymore?

The pill my doc prescribed me for clenching is not really working....I wake up in the morning and it takes me taking out my rubber bands to realize that I'm still clenching. Good news is, I don't really have any pain anymore, even from the clenching. I have discomfort from time to time. And I do feel puffy in the morning, but not much I can do about that. My doc said I can start sleeping however I want which is great, but I have noticed a slight increase in swelling.

Anyone else still sleeping propped up? How long did your doc tell you to keep it up?

I am still so WOW with my new profile. I am looking forward to when the splint comes out so I can really start working on putting my lips together. Getting all the surgical hooks and heavy wire will help too I imagine. You know, I've had my hard days, my frustrating moments, but one look at my profile and it's weird. I have to stop myself....did I really do this? It all just seems like it happened so fast and now here I am almost through the worst of it. Before I know it I'll be getting my braces off! heh well I can only hope.

Well I'm starting to feel sleepy so that's all for now. If I don't get the chance to post again, I hope everyone has a relaxing Labor Day Weekend.

xoxo

Okay, so, this is my world....

Eat, work, eat, work, eat, nothinggg. Boring! I think I just feel restless because I had to spend the whole day printing out handbooks for our new teaching artists and I kept messing up the printer and copy settings and was wasting oh so much paper. It sucked.

I left work early for an appointment with my surgeon. I told him about my issues with clenching and how it's making me really sore in the mornings, still making it hard to sleep through the night, how it's been giving me muscle spasms and headaches. He listened but was like "you're still taking pain meds?" "I'm not really worried about the clenching." I'm like "uhhh yeah I'm still taking some pain meds because my nights are freaking painful. And I don't know why you're not worried about the clenching, but can you be? Because it hurts!"

I mentioned the Flexeril to him and he seemed super concerned about prescribing that to me....apparently it's really strong and can make you super loopy. I was like, "who cares, I'm taking it at night before I go to bed!" Anywho, he ended up prescribing me Clonazepan, which is a drug most commonly used to treat seizures and panic disorder and according to my surgeon, also bruxism.

He was even super hesitant about this drug. You are only suppose to take half a tablet to a whole, but he told me to start with a quarter and see how it helped. We'll see. I'm skeptical just because my family is super drug resistant. I may be a tiny little woman but it takes a lot to knock me out, a lot for pain to go away, etc.

On a positive note, I asked how much longer I would need the splint in and he said I can get it off 2 weeks from Thursday! We already set the appointment and everything. I am beyond thrilled. It will be so exciting to see my bite/smile without this giant lunk of plastic in my mouth! Also, my ortho will be taking out all the surgical hooks on the same day and putting on a much lighter wire which will be oh so nice.

He said the bands were helping but I still have to wear them up until I get my splint out, and most likely my ortho will keep me in them. I'm fine with that. I mean, they are less than desirable, but I'm all for making sure we do this right.

Now some photos to brighten my post? I think yes. :)

Hello!


Oh how I love my new Profile.

My favorite time of year!

Hath Green Chili time in Texas has begun! I love this time of year because every time I go to the grocery store it's hatch green chili this and hatch green chili that...hmm soo good! For dinner last night and this night I had the most amazing hatch green chili twiced baked potato. AND some hatch green chili soup. YUM.

I've lost 10 lbs since my surgery which really isn't that bad, but I'm finding it hard to gain it back. My appetite just isn't the same anymore. Also, eating is tedious so I tire of it pretty quickly.

Tonight I am going to a friends birthday party wohoo. I went to get her a gift card at Free People today and ended up doing a little shopping for myself. I LOVE that store.

I have some photos for today, although not much has changed. Ibuprofen does really help with swelling I think. So thanks Corey for the tip! :)

Some Work, Some Play, Lotsa Sleep: Post-Op Day 29

Today started like most days, a morning struggle, getting ready, food, brushing, etc, followed by some work, and then some unexpected play. I haven't told y'all much about my job. I work at a theatre education non profit. We focus on reaching youth through the creative arts with hopes to bring about social change. How can you be an artist activist? A question I ask myself every day. Also, I found this job through the Americorps Vista Program, which is a year long assignment with an organization of your choosing. If you'd like to know more about this, hit me up!

So today my supervisor took us out to lunch and then we went swimming. I can't get my head under water yet but it was nice to splash around. I got a little emotional at lunch, but I kind of expect it now. I cry like once a day, over the silliest most random things. I've been pretty hyper emotional since the surgery. Exercise does help though! So thanks for those who have given me that tip. It helps me feel a little more grounded.

So I've been wearing the bands for almost a week now and my bite is still working at it, slowly but surely. I've been taking them out to eat though and it doesn't take long for my bite to fall back so I know it still needs work, but I have noticed a little improvement.

I'm a little concerned because right now my jaw really needs to be relaxing and settling into this new bite, but I clench at night, always have. I told my surgeon this before my surgery and he said there really wasn't anything we could do about this. I've been taking a valium at night to help relax the muscles, but I don't think it's really doing anything.... Anyone else who went through this clench? What did your surgeon suggest? I can take y'alls feedback to my next apt. on Monday.

On a lighter more happier note, today I feel like a fighter, despite being exhausted. I chose to have this surgery and I'm going to fight for the perfect bite. I love my new profile and it's here to stay. I'm going to train my muscles up. They are going to learn how to take this new bite, even if I have to wear my rubber bands and keep this splint in much longer than I would like. I'm in it for the long haul. And as hard as this can be sometimes I stop myself and think about everything I have to be grateful for and this puts me at peace.

Here are some pictures.

Why I had the surgery: BEFORE



AFTER to the LEFT



AFTER to the RIGHT



Check it out! Swelling is going down.

I'm le tired

Well I had the rubber bands put on Monday afternoon and here we are 3 days later. It's not as painful as it was the first day but they are still really tight. My muscles must really not like this whole me wanting a new bite thing. They're like "Hey! Watcha, trying to do?!"

I've been having headaches as a result; anyone else experience this? I haven't taken any of the hard stuff today because I was afraid that it was causing me to be too sleepy throughout the day, and I need to get back to work eventually! Well, no hard meds today and I've been more tired than ever! I've only been taking Tylenol and it does absolutely nothing for the pain. It just makes the headaches go away, which I admit, is nice, but argg pain. It's not the same kind of pain I had right after the surgery either. Right now it really is all about the bands. I guess they are doing their job but I do wish my muscles would hurry up and learn where this new bite is so I don't have to suffer anymore.

So yeah, the swelling is up because of the bands. Who knows why. I do hate feeling all puffy, but I went ahead and took some pictures anyway.

Hope everyone is doing well and thank you for your comments! It helps keep me going! And it is so comforting to know that there are people out there experiencing or have experienced what I am going through. If it weren't for y'all, I'd probably be calling my surgeon constantly heh :)

Blah blah blah Where's the weekend?

Well since I'm wearing the rubber bands again my swelling seems to have gone up a little Boo! they don't hurt as much as they did yesterday though; my muscles are resisting less and less yay! Anyway, because of the swelling I couldn't get a good profile shot sooo just a smiley front shot for today.

Not sure what to Believe- Post-Op Day 25

When I was in middle school and high school I had a strong belief in God. I grew up Catholic, went to church every day. Was an active participant in my church youth group, even served as someone's confirmation sponsor. Ever since I went to college, and moved away from home my faith year by year has slipped away. I haven't believed in the God I believed in then for years. Every now in then though, when I'm in great need, I feel myself searching.

I know I don't want to be Catholic anymore but then what? What do I believe?

I believe in balance. Meditation always puts my mind at peace and both relaxes and strengthens my body. But this is a practice. I don't pray ever, nor have I for years. I find myself though, in this moment, desperately needing something, someone, to pray to.

I went to see my surgeon today and I was right, my bite has moved. My lower jaw, which was moved forward during the surgery has pulled back a little. Why has this happened? I don't know. My surgeon doesn't know. Its put me back in my rubber bands though for the next week. They hurt. I don't want to wear them, but what can I do? I'm scared. He said this can be fixed, but what happens when you take away the rubber bands again? Will my stubborn jaw continue to give me problems?

My father asked me tonight is I had prayed. He is a very spiritual man. He doesn't go to church every week but he loves studying religion. He believes in the inter connectivity of everything. I felt guilty telling him that I hadn't but told him that I had been sending out a lot of good energy. He smiled and said "positivity and a peaceful mind is everything." Well I do agree with him, but positivity is something I have severely been lacking over the past couple weeks. I have been feeling down, stressed, worried, all of which is bad energy. So I wondered, have I done this to myself? Has all this negativity I've been putting out there somehow reversed my healing process?

I just want to heal and be done with this. I think I just need to sit, close my eyes, and smile. Smile everywhere in my body and let this energy fill my soul. And my mantra will be: "I will get through this."

Here are some pictures.

Better day, here's hoping for more to come

Well today has been a rather relaxing day. I slept in for the first time in over a week. I ate great today! Always a daunting task....

I realized today that I hadn't been practicing on opening my jaw as wide as I can like the surgeon told me, so I've been practicing off and on all day and already I can tell the stretches are really working. Of course when I sleep, things get kind of tight again, but I just have to keep with it. I've found that I can open my mouth much wider than I could a week ago and it's making eating much easier!

Cleaning the splint has been tricky. I've found that the curved pressure syringe does nothing. Not even a water pick can get all the food out that sometimes gets stuck. Never fear though, I've discovered the gum stimulator! This is great and it's able to get into my splint and help pick food out. A lot of the other products on the website I think would help in the same way. I think you can get most of these products at your local store too, so don't think you need to buy online. If you're having trouble with this like me, I do hope this helps!

I've got some updated photos for today. I'm not wearing any make up and my hair looks like shit but hey the swelling continues to go down! And no smiles....I find that it's hard to show you guys how the swelling is going down when I'm all smiles.....but once I get the splint off in a few weeks believe me, I'll be all smiles! Also, you may notice the incision site on my profile shot. It's so tiny! Hard to believe they were able to get in and do all that work and leave such a small scar! Hopefully it starts to fade though.

Depression

It hits me in waves. I've read on the blogs that this can happen. For me it comes out of the frustration of not being able to live the life I was living before the surgery. I can't go out like I was used to. I can't eat like I used to. I can't talk like I used to. I feel completely helpless in every aspect of my life. I know this feeling doesn't last forever and everyone keeps telling me how brave I am to go through this, but tonight I don't feel brave. I feel lonely, frustrated, and scared. I just really need these next few weeks to fly by.

How do you get through these bad days? How do you keep smiling? How do you remind yourself that at the end of the day "This is totally worth it."

-S

Looking Back

I was looking back at my very first post, September 16th 2009. Here we are August 12th 2010. I can't believe it's already been a year! Hopefully, if everything goes according to plan, I will have my splint out at the beginning of September. I only have to survive the rest of this month!

I've had a pretty good day but I'm starting to feel super paranoid about my bite. Maybe it's just because I look at it all the time but aren't your lower teeth suppose to fit comfortably behind the splint? I felt like mine did...and now they don't. They kind of click into place if I make them but yeah....this seems not good.

My surgeon told me I didn't have to wear my rubber bands anymore though and I trust him so we'll see where this goes. I see him Monday and I can't wait! Time between appts. feels so long. I wish I could see him every day just so he could tell me everything is looking good.

I'm such a nervous nelly.

-S

Three Weeks Post Op

So I've had a really hard week. It is just so incredibly frustrating to eat and clean the splint. I've also been having a lot of problems with anxiety, and just feeling all around hyper emotional. I see my surgeon on Monday and I am soooo looking forward for an update. I can't wait to see how he thinks I'm progressing.

I tried to move back home last Tuesday. I thought I was ready to take care of myself, and my puppy! What was I thinking?! Well I'm glad I came to my senses. I am back at home, at least through the weekend. I am so thankful so my Mother. Seriously, what would I do without her? She has been there for me every second I've needed her and man have I needed her! Also I want to give a shout out to all my friends who have listened to me vent, and have been patient with me. Thank you thank you. I love you all.

Well, it's crazy, I don't really notice the swelling going down anymore because it's so gradual but it must still be going down because my profile looks better and better every day! I can't wait till all the swelling is down and when the splint comes out, hopefully I'll be able to put my lips together.

Numbness update: my cheeks are starting to come alive which is new. My chin is still completely numb but I'm hoping it comes back! My friend had this surgery and she said sometimes it can take up to a year for all feeling to come back so I'm hopeful. The right side of my nose is still numb which I find slightly odd, but hopefully that comes back as well! My lips are still a little numb but not completely....it's interesting.

Well, that's all for now. So happy it's almost the weekend! My brother graduates on Saturday woho! And meeting my boyfriend's family on Sunday went really well! I had to bring cream of wheat for dinner which everyone thought was pretty funny, but all and all good fun was had.

Here are some updated pictures :)

Tomorrow life goes back to normal....sorta

My best job at a kiss face haha.


So tomorrow I go back to work. In a way I'm looking forward to getting back into a routine. The past couple days I've started getting bored, so it will be nice to be busy again. Also, I'll be doing half days this week so I'll still have some time in the afternoon to myself which will be nice.

I added some before and after pictures on the side of my blog. Sorry they are so small! From the front I don't think there are any noticeable changes but my profile. Yowza! The nose, the chin, it's awesome. My profile is getting better and better every day as the swelling continues to decrease. My surgeon said it would take a while to really see the effects of the surgery. I admit I have been a little impatient but now that I am starting to see the changes I am so happy.

I am starting my 3rd week Post-Op and it feels great. I am glad time is going by fast! Yesterday I was at this bbq and it was so nice to be out in the sun and with friends but one: I couldn't eat anything, two: I couldn't swim, and three: I couldn't speak that well over the loud music. I have to admit there are days where I get frustrated. I wish I could just talk and eat like normal again. I know that I have to be patient though and I have to keep my spirits up. A positive attitude is the key to a speedy recovery. I really believe that.

Tonight I'm meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. We've been dating about 5 months so I'm a little nervous, especially still having this splint in. It always takes new people a little bit of time to understand me. I find myself having to repeat myself quite often, especially with certain words.

Updates:

I am able to open my mouth pretty wide! about a finger wide. It doesn't seem like a lot but it's improvement!
I'm getting better at drinking with a cup and not spilling it all down my shirt.
I'm almosttt able to close my lips but it doesn't feel natural yet and the splint is in the way.
I am still having discomfort in the morning but it's not that bad.
Sleeping is still difficult but it's getting better. I can't wait till I don't have to be propped up anymore!
Eating and brushing is still my least favorite part of the day....takes forever. I can't wait till I get the splint out and I don't have to spent like 15 minuets cleaning!
I haven't really had any congestion....just a little now and then. woho!
The swelling is going down but it's so gradual each day that I just have to be patient. I'm guessing the swelling won't really be gone until I get the splint out. And even then I'm sure I'll have some residual swelling. I bet by my three month mark it will be mostly down.

Well, that's it! Anyone have any questions? I hope everyone is doing well. Stay strong and be positive! :)

Love,

-S

Disbelief!

It's just one day over two weeks and I'm feeling great! I'm just so happy that I was able to get this surgery. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful parents who saved so we could afford it. A big shout out to my mom who has been nothing less than wonderful, even when I was being awful because I felt so crappy. She saw me through those hard days and for that I am so grateful.

It's worth it friends. If you are feeling apprehensive, asking yourself 'Do I really need this?' Don't give up making this change!

Now things I'm looking forward to:

The swelling going down 100%
Getting the splint out
Having zero discomfort
Being able to chew and eat me some Chicken Enchiladas (my favorite!)
Being able to go out to a restaurant without worrying about how and what I'm going to eat
Going out with friends and not worrying about needing to get home and rest
Not spending 25% of my day cleaning and brushing my teeth
Not feeling anxious anymore (the surgery has caused me some anxiety....I have like one anxiety attack a day....they aren't that bad but enough for it to be annoying.

2 weeks Post-Op

Two weeks from today I was in the hospital recovering from surgery! These two weeks have really flown by. Im so happy that I only have four more weeks with this splint. It's definitely getting easier to talk though which is nice.

I've also started eating with silverware as I said in my last post and it's going pretty well, minus the few times I drip food down my shirt ;). Today I had pancakes, soup, and mac and cheese! I've really gotten my appetite back in the past few days which has made eating slightly more frustrating. It just takes soooo long to eat and it's hard to get enough in one serving to actually feel full. I really don't want to go back to ensure though....I'm not really a fan.

Today I went out and got my nails done! Woho! So nice to get pampered a little. I'm trying to enjoy my last few days before I have to go back to work. I'm also thinking I might have to do half days for a week before I go back full time. Not because of pain but because of eating! I spend on average about an hour and a half eating and then cleaning for every meal and I can't really take that long of a lunch break! Hopefully eating gets easier though after a little more practice....then it won't take so long.

Now time for more pictures! wohoo!

So this isn't super noticeable but my smile is a little lopsided. For some reason I can't lift the right side of my upper lip that high. I've been trying to lift it without lifting the other side but I can't! I guess this is why they tell you to make funny faces and work out your lips? Anyone else having this problem? Also my chin isn't as prominent as I thought it would be BUT it does seem to be getting more prominent every day, so I'm thinking it's just swelling.

Hope everyone is doing well! Wherever you are in this process!

love,

-S

New Pictures and Update-Day 13 Post-Op

Well, here I am almost 2 weeks after my surgery. How crazy! I moved back home yesterday and it's really nice being back home but now I'm having even more trouble sleeping! New bed, new pillows I suppose. I'll get used to it soon I'm sure. I have to go back to work on Monday and I'm dreading it! As much as recovery can suck sometimes, it's so nice to have my days to myself with no responsibility to think of! Today I got my hair done; it's darker now. I also went shopping and bought a new top, dress, some earrings, and a bracelet. I went all out!

I saw my surgeon and my orthodontist on Monday and they both said I'm doing really well! I don't have to wear my rubber bands anymore and I can start trying to eat with a spoon! I got a couple baby spoons and I've been trying some bigger stuff. I find that I still prefer soup though....if only because it makes cleaning out the splint easier. From trying pasta and some other stuff I'm pretty sure I got some food stuck in my splint that will never come out.....gross I know. But it is seriously hard to keep it clean. Even if you brush and clean right after you eat, which I do. The thicker food you eat, the more you run the risk of getting stuff stuck. No avoiding it.

I've been practicing on opening my mouth and I'm still making funny faces. Everything is really coming together! I'm still waiting on feeling to come back on parts of my face....mainly my cheeks and chin. My face is still tingling though...all good signs.

And if you don't know, we are in the middle of SHARK WEEK! I love shark week so I encourage everyone to tune in and learn something new! They are fascinating creatures.

Day 9 Post Op

My new profile! I still have some swelling. It's decreasing little by little each day. And check out my smile! Thats the biggest smile to date! I've really been working on moving my lips. I've been making funny faces and massaging them. It really seems to be helping. My face doesn't feel as stiff as it did.




That's it. Things have been pretty much the same. I've started going out more, which is nice. I'm starting to feel back to normal. The only thing is I'm still having trouble sleeping through the night and I have really bad pain when I wake up in the morning. Anyone else experiencing this? I've been taking my hardcore pain med, ambien, and a valium and still I wake up, toss and turn, it sucks!