Saturday, August 14, 2010


It hits me in waves. I've read on the blogs that this can happen. For me it comes out of the frustration of not being able to live the life I was living before the surgery. I can't go out like I was used to. I can't eat like I used to. I can't talk like I used to. I feel completely helpless in every aspect of my life. I know this feeling doesn't last forever and everyone keeps telling me how brave I am to go through this, but tonight I don't feel brave. I feel lonely, frustrated, and scared. I just really need these next few weeks to fly by.

How do you get through these bad days? How do you keep smiling? How do you remind yourself that at the end of the day "This is totally worth it."



  1. Hi Sarah!
    Wow, sorry to hear your in such a rough spot..hang in see your surgeon on Monday and you will be able to get answers to some of your concers. I know that there is probably nothing anyone could say right now to help you feel better, but I will say that at least writing down what you have has already released a little bit of your frustration; just by getting it out and asking for help! You are just approaching the 4 week mark of healing and you will continue to heal!
    Do you have the splint out yet? I am sure that is a pain in the ass, but once it is out you will be able to speak better too!
    Hang in there!!

  2. I do hear that depression is common, and I know I went through some about my appearance and all of the things you talked about - just being frustrated with life not getting back to normal as quickly as you feel it should. When I felt really bad my husband and I would look for things to eat that were new AND tasted good - something different because I HATED eating the same food over and over and really hated the muscle milk stuff... or we'd go for a nice long walk. Getting exercise really helped me, just make sure not to overdo it. If you're in pain, keep taking pain medicine - I was trying to get off of everything and the pain REALLY brought me down - even when it was just a nagging, uncomfortable pain rather than the harsher pain from right after surgery.

    You'll get through this. It's rough, but you ARE brave - even though you're scared and frustrated and lonely.

  3. Sarah,

    SO sorry to hear you're not feeling great. When I finally buckled down and decided to start this process, I remember telling my dad that one of the things I was most worried about was the loss of time and how that would get me down -- I read so many blogs about people who had those same feelings. I still have that fear. But, those same bloggers made it through the other side and consistently said they were so happy about their decision even with the hard times they encountered leading up to the final, fabulous result. I know it's super hard, but keep thinking of that light at the end of the tunnel. It's like finishing a race. There are moments that are hard. But, at the end, you're just so happy you made it that after awhile you only remember that great end feeling and start to forget about how hard it was to get there. Every day, you're closer to getting there!

    Keep up the fabulous recovery and know you have a community of people (who you've never even met!) who are cheering you on over the Internet!


  4. Thank you so much you guys! Your comments are so encouraging! I definitely had a better, more relaxing day today. Weird how you can feel so down and then be fine a day later. I guess that's just the way it's going to be for a few more weeks. Here's to keeping strong, wherever you are in this. :)